one of these days but in the meantime
by 2028
Summary: AU of the Rick's proposal, but still a happy ending. This is reposted but the last four thousand words are new.
1. Chapter 1

After the many childhood lectures on posture and military protocol, hunching over felt strange, but the sun shined brightly in his eyes so he leaned over and stared at the ground. The sliding door peeled open and out walked the man he wanted to marry if only he could get his mouth to ask the question.

"Hey, nice surprise" Drew said with a smile, reaching out to hug him. Tension vibrated off him and Drew could tell, so Rick pulled short and stopped with his back to the truck.

"About me taking the job, I didn't want to tell you on the phone." He started, knowing it sounded foreboding.

Drew's face creased unhappily, but the nervousness didn't stop radiating through him.

"So you're going?" Despite the effort to remain unemotional, disappointment flashed through Drew's eyes and that urged Rick to continue, wanting that to go away.

"No, I wasn't planning on it. I have an interview for a job to train state police here. And I had a question" Rick continued, suddenly unsure whether to look Drew in the eyes or look down and glance up for a reaction. In that moment, four words seemed very long. Knowing thinking about it would make it harder Rick opened his mouth again, the busyness in his mind distracting him from the look in Drew's eyes.

And what came out wasn't his intended question. "So I meant what I said when I came back. And in putting this relationship back together, I learned that leaving wasn't my best move."

"Rick, you came back better for it. I'm not mad. Let it go." Drew reassured, appearing confused, because they were retracing steps they already covered.

"Yea, I know. And I'm grateful." Rick looked up for that, clearly having lost Drew. Heck, he wasn't sure where this was coming from; it didn't match his plan at all.

"Um, okay" Drew started, but Rick kept talking.

"And in that vein, I wanted to…" He trailed off, unable to finish.

"Okay, from what I'm hearing, you're thinking about staying." Drew asked, looking at him and Rick nodded. "Which is what you want." Rick nodded again. "But you're acting like someone is trying to shove you off a cliff so tell me what else is wrong." Protectiveness coated Drew's voice and Rick relaxed a little. A lot, remembering all they had been before he left and before he got hurt. Living apart, they hadn't been involved in each other's day to day lives but they had still developed an autopilot to keep track of the other; they called, they texted, they visited, they worried when someone missed a phone call, they took long weekends and meet in places unknown to anyone who knew them. It helped him feel less disconnected, having someone in the world who would notice when he didn't check in, who needed him for more than his military capabilities, having someone who meant it when he asked are you okay. Rick channeled that, took a deep breath and just talked.

"I managed to..." He waved his hand indicating the lack of importance. "I want to stay here and I wanted to ask… if you'll marry me."

Drew stared at him, not comprehending but Rick had been pretty clear.

"Drew?" he asked, after the silence started to stretch out.

"Yea, yes." Drew responded shaking his head and grinning. A huge wave of nervousness vanished from his body and Rick grinned and put his hands up to hold Drew's arms where his now fiance had placed them on his shoulders.

Something in Drew's face stopped him from kissing him and Rick waited.

"But you should still go to South Carolina."

Rick paused and almost put his hands down but they had moved on from avoiding each other, so he left them there. Depending on Drew's answer he might want to hold on anyway.

"Okay, I'm happy about one of the things you just said." He responded a little hostilely, in a voice that asked Drew to explain.

"That's a great job. One you have been talking about for years. One you would be extremely good at." Drew paused and tilted his head, smiling affectionately at Rick. "I saw your face after you finished that course and I listened to you talk about your unit and watching them succeed. You need to take that job because there's not anyone to do it as well as you will."

"You missed the reason I liked the first option." Rick deadpanned, hearing the compliments but not wanting to accept them, not wanting something to convince him to leave.

"That's a really good job. They're not going to offer it to you again You should go."

"It's my job. I can do whatever I want with it."

Drew took a step back and in the movement Rick wondered if they had already failed at this idea of marriage. Upon further examination, thoughtfulness captured Drew's face, not anger or hurt.

"You're stationed at Fort Jackson, right?" Rick nodded, not seeing where Drew was headed.

"How long is your contract for them?"

"A year and a half." Rick answered slowly, having asked that when they offered him the job.

"And you have to tell them by…?"

"This time tomorrow." Rick filled in.

"Mmm." Drew murmured, looking down and appearing to calculate something in his head. Watching him for a second, the curiosity and anxiety distracted Rick from doubt about asking Drew.

"Drew, what? Tell me."

"Sorry" Drew said, digging himself out of his head. "I could come to South Carolina with you."

Shock registered first, following quickly by excitement and hope, which he smashed quickly before he could get too attached to the idea.

"No, you have a job here. You have to stay."

"No, I don't. I have to finish my residence, but that doesn't have to happen here. This isn't the top of my career, this isn't my dream job, I have five more years before I even get close to that…" Drew said with a smile. "Plus, I'm a combat surgeon training in a civilian hospital with civilian advisors. Which never made a lot of sense given I'm supposed to end up in battlefield hospitals."

Rick started to hope this solution might work, but he cut himself off before he could fully believe it.

"The army didn't have a place for me when I graduated medical school, but they keep sending me on weekend training missions because I'm supposed to be training with military protocol, not civilian. And Fort Jackson has medic training programs and they have military hospitals."

"Drew" Rick started and stopped. He really wanted that job. Drew had it right when he said Rick had been talking about it and imagining it since he passed the Ranger Academy. That initial training gave him something to fight for, a goal to reach again and finishing the obstacle course again had given him back something he had lost with his leg. The rush captured him, almost too strong for him to break free. The chance to feel like that all the time and help people feel like that and serve his country at the same time, it was just about all he could do to consider saying no, giving it up. But he would, if Drew asked, if it meant he could stay and see the man he loved everyday and not to have to have two clocks on his phone keeping track of a time zone for him and a time zone for Drew. What Drew had thought up, if it didn't work the results would not be pleasant.

Hope started to rise in Rick's eyes and Drew briefly considered shutting it down before it could fully develop. He thought quickly, he knew was qualified for the programs for Fort Jackson, he had looked at all the programs in the country when he graduated, wondering where he would be stationed. He knew the programs were expanding under the president's new policies, exactly the reason Rick had the job offer he did, because they needed soldiers and they needed medics to save their lives. Right now he didn't see a reason to squash it.

"I know, I know, I know." Drew said acknowledging what Rick had started. "But think about it. Why do you live in Texas? If I didn't live here, why would you? What do you like about it? Should we really stay here and buy a house and make this the home base for the rest of our lives?" Drew asked, his face with excitement dancing around his face, knowing he had hit gold.

Rick considered, having thought about it before he started looking for another job, but coming up with reasons he could stay. Now the frame shifted and he looked for reasons to leave; he begrudgingly admitted there were more reasons for leaving but the one for staying outweighed them all. But if Drew could come with him, his main reason for staying vanished.

"This is the part of my career where I get a choice. My residence, the army doesn't control that as much as they control my active duty and I still owe them seven years of that. But the next year and a half, I have some control over where I am, enough control that I can switch residences, as long as the army approves of the program and the ones at Fort Jackson are already approved because that's where the army trains its Rangers and the medics who go with them." Enthusiasm poured out of Drew, having found a solution to both their problems.

"No, wait. Tell me the problems with this." Unless it actually happened, Rick wasn't letting himself believe it.

Drew stopped, disappointment showing briefly, before the thoughtful look came back.

"You might not get into the programs at the base." Rick pointed out.

"I will" Drew said. "No offense, but yes I will." TC and Topher were highly regarded and they had been training him for months. TC had already offered to write him a letter of rec, Topher would too, Drew was sure, and his commander when he graduated told him that he qualified and that was a year and a half of medical training and three months of tactic training ago.

"Why didn't you get stationed there in the first place?" Rick asked.

"There wasn't room but" Drew countered before Rick could counter him. "Residences switch every year and the program keeps getting bigger. I don't need one of the spots at the bottom, I need one of the spots in the middle, essentially taking the place of someone who failed. I'm not screwing up their new recruiting numbers, I'm filling a spot they already planned on filling. It's way easier to get in half way through, that's why the residences at this hospital are a year long instead of three years long because we have a bunch of soldiers fresh out of medical school who end up taking spots of people who failed."

Rick hadn't known that about this hospital but supposed it made sense.

"All your friends are here." Rick said next, knowing that would give Drew more pause. They're the first group of people he came out to, they supported him endlessly through Rick's recovery, Topher mentored Drew through Rick's boneheaded self imposed separation and Krista, she wasn't his friend, she was his sister.

Sadness stole a moment in Drew's eyes but he took a deep breath and forced it back. "I'm going to have to leave them at some point and it'll hurt like hell whenever I do, but I'm supposed to be active duty in less than two years and the army owns me; I'm not staying here my whole career."

"And you're actually okay with that being now instead of in a year and a half?"

Hesitation snuck into Drew's face and Rick appreciated his foresight in not letting himself believe this plan.

"You can't really switch residences in the middle of a year and I have four months left on this one." Drew admitted.

Annoyance cursed through him that he let Drew talk like this and that expressed itself as a glare.

"No, listen to me." Drew defended himself. "It makes no sense for you to give up this job in order for me to keep a job I got because there wasn't space for me somewhere else. I'm leaving in a year and a half anyway. Do you really want to be here, with a job with the Texas state police while I'm in the Middle East? Or some base across the country, somewhere you can't transfer because you work for a state government and not the federal government?" Drew asked pointedly.

"Plus, this four months isn't like the other ones. We have internet and we're in the same time zone and there are way more flights between here and South Carolina than between here and Afghanistan. You will have plenty of time to put me ahead of your career. Don't do it yet."

"Drew" Rick said tiredly. "There are other military couples and when they're both active duty, they don't see each other for years. I think the record like five years or something. I am so done seeing you three weeks a year or not at all. I don't want that to be us."

Drew regarded Rick again, the latter unable to read his face.

"It's going to be us for a while because the army put me through undergrad and medical school and I don't think they'll let me go yet." He paused for a moment, before saying it, but it was the truth and they can't avoid it. Throwing it out there now, maybe they could keep it from destroying them later.

Measuring his words to take into account Rick's vulnerability at having made that statement, Drew continued.

"It's a lot easier to let go of something once you have it than it is to get it back after you give it away. Take the job; if you still want out in a year, then you can join the reserves and follow me around to your heart's content." He recommended, watching Rick's face.

Grinning at the wording and wincing at the implication that he and Drew still had years of separation ahead of them, Rick continued. "I don't want out; I want to live in the same state as you."

"And we will, after some more time of not living in the same state." Drew said, looking at Rick, knowing he had been given something precious, something he had to be careful with, be careful not to break or neglect or abuse it. Not having a purpose almost destroyed his boyfriend; burned into his memory was the night Rick sat in the hospital and seriously considered letting that necrosis kill him because he can't face living without his leg. Qualifying for this job, finishing this course, they were good for his career yes, but Rick had proven to himself that he could handle everything he could before he lost his leg. It gave him a purpose and a goal, something to chase, made him accountable to a standard again; it gave him a confidence that countered the limp from his prosthetic. With all this in mind, Drew thought about how much he must mean to Rick if he was willing to give it up for him. It intimidated him, being the subject of that much affection and caring.

"And you also have to think about what happens to your career while I'm deployed all the time. Because I'm going to be deployed at least as many times as you were." Drew said carefully, pretty sure Rick had realized this but they never had the conversation.

"It was easier for me to be insanely busy while you were gone. And you love this job; you don't even have it yet and you're ridiculously excited about it." Rick glanced down, embarrassed at having been caught; he had hoped to hide it so he didn't force Drew to take a side in the decision.

"You and I are different but…" Drew paused but forged on. "You've never been the one to stay home before and I think it'll help to have a career you really love instead of one you took because I was here and now I'm not here anymore."

"Plus…" Drew said in an attempt to lighten the mood. "Whether I'm in Iran and you're in Texas or whether I'm in Iran and you're in Afghanistan, we're still not together. And we don't have to worry about renting a house out to someone."

Rick nodded, agreeing and knowing that this conversation had sparkled the need for some reflection and more brutally honest conversations down the road. His gut twisted at the thought of Drew being gone as much as he had. When the time came, he and Drew could deal with his upcoming deployments the same way they had dealt with Rick's; they did everything they could to prepare and then they spend as much time together as possible.

"What were we thinking when we decided it was a good idea to buy property here?" Rick wondered, needing a moment to imagine being alone in a house without Drew and not wanting this conversation to tank too low, Rick filed it away to analyze more later and made a joke.

Drew grinned, mostly because Rick had. "I don't know." For a brief second he was tempted to let it stay a joke, but he wanted to tell Rick more of his thought process. "I was thinking the same thing you were, that I wanted to live in the same place as you and have that be more permanent. In hindsight, I probably should have just… asked you to marry me." Drew admitted, with a bashful grin.

Rick felt the fog start to lift off him. He wanted to be happy, he did and he had decided to give up something to gain something more valuable. Drew had come up with a plan to give him both, if only he could stand the four month wait.

"That would have saved me a lot of trouble."

They caught eyes and both burst out laughing, releasing all those emotions and humoring themselves for being scared of the future and confused about what they both wanted.

"Wedding rings are a lot more portable than houses." Rick managed eventually, realizing he liked the idea that, to the world and to themselves, metal linked them together.

"Wait, do I get one? A ring, I mean?" Drew asked, suddenly serious and adorably hopeful.

"No, I mean yes but I don't have one." Rick answered, still laughing.

"Well, why not?" Drew demanded.

Rick stopped himself, stood up straight. "I… um….I don't know your ring size. Come to think of it, I don't know mine either. I don't wear jewelry."

Drew stared at him for a second, not long enough to make Rick suspect he was angry, but long enough to make his point. And then he burst out laughing again.

"You are horrible at this; you actually suck at it." He grasped.

"Then I take it back." Rick countered.

Drew snorted in disbelief until he looked at Rick's face.

"You can't do that, that's so mean." Drew informed Rick, knowing he was messing with him.

"Obviously I can't marry someone who insults me" Rick joked.

"Then again, it's probably better I don't marry someone so rude." Drew continued in the same vein.

The grin across Rick's face spread into laughter again.

"How long have you been planning this? I hope not long."

"Since about…" Rick paused, pretending to think about it, but really stalling because he didn't want to admit it had a short time. "Well…" Rick checked his watch, knowing he was making a show. "Since about seven last night, so almost exactly twelve hours."

Drew curled his arms around his stomach and giggled. Honest to goodness giggling. Rick continued.

"Well, we have established that me wanting to take the job here is actually about me wanting to marry you and I started thinking about it on Tuesday, so it has actually been about three days."

Drew's face turned a startling color of red and Rick glanced at the sliding door, suddenly grateful they were still outside a hospital.

"Well, apparently I have unconsciously trying to marry you since about three weeks ago when I started looking at houses, so I win." Drew forced out after a solid thirty seconds of continued laughter.

"You didn't know you were doing it, that doesn't count." Rick shot back.

"I printed things out; did you print things out?"

"I… didn't print things." Rick realized, not liking that answer.

"I still win." Drew decided.

"Hey, no I actually asked you, just now, earlier, that has to count for something, considering I said it out loud, and didn't subconsciously try to communicate the message through wasting trees when you could have just showed me on your phone."

Drew lost it and wrapped his arms around his stomach again and half turned away from Rick in trying to contain himself. Rick lasted a second before he joined him.

They finally calmed down after another minute of their laughter filling the parking lot.

"We are never telling anyone this story." Drew said, wiping his face.

"Hey Krista" Rick started, mock telling Drew's friends about the situation. "I asked Drew to marry me and he said yes and immediately told me to leave the state."

"And I followed that by telling him all the ways I am going to make a horrible husband because I'll be gone most of the time." Drew joined in.

"And then we figured out that I tried to torpedo my career because I unconsciously wanted to be married."

"And the motivation behind my sudden desire to own property is, shocker, actual wanting to be married as well." Drew leaned back a little, his whole body displaying humor.

"And Drew insulted my lack of preparedness"

"And he took it back." Leaning forward now, Drew put his hand on Rick's shoulder and followed that by placing his head there too.

"Wait, we're actually getting married, right?" Rick checked, serious now.

"You want to ask me again or would you like me to go print some more things?" Drew said in Rick's shoulder.

"How about we go get rings and just mutually agree to be engaged?"

"Good idea, take the asking responsibility away from both of us, because clearly neither one of us can handle it."

Having finally decided that, Rick leaned forward and put his head on Drew's shoulder so they were holding each other up.

"I think we forgot the most important part of this." Rick whispered after a second when they had thoroughly calmed down.

"What's that?" Drew whispered back, even though he knew what Rick meant. Their heads meet in the center and Drew kept one hand on Rick's chest and wrapped the other one around the back of his head, pulling him closer so when Rick leaned in to kiss him, Drew was already there.

"Are you sure about this?" Rick murmured when they pulled apart. "Moving I mean, because you don't have to."

"Yes, I do." Drew answered, his words referring to either his responsibility to the military or his desire to be close to Rick. Scanning his eyes, Rick read the latter there.

"I had to convince you to take the job you have been dying to have since you were twenty-six, I can't undo all that work now." Drew reasoned, keeping Rick's hand when he stepped back.

"I'm a little annoyed that you talked me into it so quickly." Rick admitted, in the back of his head nervous that he let himself be so influenced by Drew. Luckily, Drew, this person he had given his heart to, he chose to keep it safe and not break it.

Drew looked at his watch. "We have been standing here for forty-five minutes." He deadpanned. "We have been standing here so long, you're getting a sunburn."

"Want to hear the rest of the plan?" Rick asked, moving on.

A grin lit up Drew's face. "So this wasn't so slapped together so last minute. I approve."

"No, it was. Once I decided, I just kinda…" He made a shoving motion with one hand. "threw myself into it." Rick admitted, looking Drew in the eyes again. "Thanks for stopping me." What he meant was thank you for being you, thanks for looking out for me, thanks for being smarter than me, thanks for knowing me better than I know myself, thank you for proving me right when I let myself love you.

"I'm proud of you." Drew said softly. "You deserve it. I'm not letting you take it away from yourself right at the end."

Unable to articulate the emotion stuck in his throat, Rick leaned into kiss Drew again, resting right in front of him when they stopped.

"Are you sure?" Drew whispered, sounding uncertain. "I will be gone a lot."

It hurt that Drew thought he would be the one to chase Rick away, but it hurt because Rick had been the one to put that fear there.

"When I left, I had valid reasons in my head and in some ways it helped, but I don't plan on doing it again. So, yes, I'm sure." Rick explained.

"I mean I'll be deployed probably four of the next eight years." Drew expanded, more somber now than he had been at any other point in the conversation.

"Are you trying to talk me out of it?" Rick asked, increasingly more unsure how to reassure Drew, how he could explain that he had felt trapped but not by Drew.

"No" Drew said calmly. "I want this to work. In ten years, I still want to be married instead of you being miserable and resenting me."

Rick tried to think of something more convincing, but he couldn't so he lightly touched the side of Drew's face.

"I understand the urge to look out for me. I know it's going to be different. And difficult." Rick paused. "But I'll still sure."

"What's the rest of the plan?" Drew murmured after a moment of intensely staring at his fiance. "Because we're still in the middle of the parking lot. And I'm really hoping the rest of the plan involves walls."

"Well, rings first and I should probably should call my commander and tell him I accept the job but yea, walls. They're actually in Santa Fe." Rick recovered from the look Drew had been giving him, feeling lighter insider. They were really better as a team.

"So you're actually somewhat organized."

"No, it's a front; I'm still a complete wreck."

Drew didn't answer right away. "No, you're not."

Rick dropped the grin and once again they were having a serious conversation. "Yes, I was."

"But now you're not and I'm not talking about Santa Fe." Under the surface, not very far, but still under the surface, they were talking about Rick's huge indecisiveness when it came to his leg, his career after that point and their relationship over the course of the last eight months.

"I don't want you to give things up for me." Drew admitted, feeling again that he held Rick back, despite Rick telling him otherwise.

"You're more important to me than a lot of other things. Sometimes I'm going to pick you over them. Get used to it." The words drifted over him, made me him safe.

"Come here" he whispered, wrapping his arms around Rick's shoulders, holding on so he could kiss him properly.

It took Drew a second to snap out of the moment but he grinned, finally looking comfort in the idea of engagement and contend in Rick's sincerity. Rick held up a set of car keys.

"When are you leaving?" Drew asked, taking the keys.

"A week and a half."

"One of these days that is not going to be the first question I ask every time I see you." Drew confirmed, still in that secure place he felt when he focused entirely on Rick and blocked out the rest of the world.

"One of these days, the same day someone puts together a coherent plan for world peace." Still watching him, Rick said solemnly, taking advantage of the common saying and pointing out the reality of their lives, given their careers.

Before Drew could start the car, Rick asked another question. "We're both military; is it stupid to get keep putting things off with the assumption that we'll be alive to do them later?"

Sighing, Drew sat back against the seat. "Sometimes it will be, but I don't think this is one of those times. That's something we have to decide on an individual basis."

Thinking about the conversation they just had and his promise he had made himself to reflect on it, Rick turned to Drew.

"If you could own property anywhere, where would it be?" Drew side eyed him.

"We're not buying anything but just in the future, where would you eventually want to live?"

Drew shrugged after giving it a second's thought. "I don't know. What's the scale? I assuming we're staying in the U.S.?"

"Yea, in the U.S." Rick decided. Serving this country so much, he was a bit attached to it.

"I haven't really been anywhere." Drew said. "I mean there a whole bunch of states west of here I've never even flew over."

"It's a really good thing we had this conversation before we actually saw any houses."

"Yea, next time let's have these before we're right at the edge of huge decisions and we can think about them."

Seeing the wisdom in that, Rick nodded, another thought forming in his head.

"Do you feel…" Drew looked at him expectedly and Rick still wasn't sure he wanted to say it out loud but he did anyway. "I don't know, grown up?"

"We're thirty, we've been making decisions that could get us killed since we were eighteen, I think we're grown up." Put that way it sounds uninformed, and Rick shook his head.

"But yea, I get what you mean…" Drew continued, the confident tone fading to make way for the reflective one. "Buying things together, being married…" the word still awed him a little so he figured he should keep saying it out loud.

Rick took up where Drew had left off. "I joined the military in part because I didn't know what I wanted to do and everything happened so fast for so many years, I guess I never realized I figured out what I want to… be when I grow up." Rick finished, flushing a little at the word choice. Injury definitely had a place in the amount of thinking and reflection that happened in the last eight months. It pleased him to find he was happy with most of the decisions he had made.

"I knew what I wanted to do, I just needed a way to accomplish it. You were the wild card," Drew said, looking at Rick, a wild card in the best possible way.

"I don't know, I never looked at my life and thought about it being something I could actually achieve. Growing up felt like a long off future that happened only if a bunch of other things fell into line in exactly the right order."

"Medical school is the same way and residence too. It really easy to have an image in your head of what you're supposed to be but it seems pretty impossible that everything will work out the right way and it'll come true."

"And did it? The image in your head match how your life turned out?"

"So far, it'd been better." Drew said with a soft grin. "But I'm not done living it yet."

Either way, for the moment, this part of his life felt sorted; having a person to share his hopes and dreams, having someone to take into account when he made plans to get there, being someone's support system, having someone to be his, it did feel new and grown up and he couldn't wait to see what they made of it.

"What about you?" Drew turned the question back.

"Hard to have an image when you don't know where you want to end up but so far the view's not bad." Heat spread across Drew's face at that, given Rick was looking at him for the second part.

"Another important question." Drew said, changing the tone and unconsciously prompting both of them to pay attention again. "Are we getting married before you leave or after I get there?"

Considering that for a second, Rick tilted his head. "I could come back here for a few days so you don't have to invite all your friends out there."

"Putting things off?" Drew said, referencing his comment earlier and teasing him.

Two could play at that game. "Rushing into major life decisions without talking them?" Rick answered in the teasing tone.

"You think we're rushing it? Because I don't think we are."

Refusing the urge to answer immediately, Rick thought. He hadn't considered how he would know that he was ready to be married; he had pushed the idea out of his mind. But thinking about it now, he had tried to give up a job he worked for years to earn. The person he was ready to give it up for, is that who he should spend the rest of his life with?

"No, you're right, we're not."

Drew grinned, and bounced in his seat, like a gliddy little kid.

Meeting the smile with one of his own, Rick wanted the serious discussion to end for a moment and he wanted to enjoy being engaged without having to make decisions.

"Do you know where to buy engagement rings?" Rick asked, too happy to really kick himself for forgetting that part of the plan.

"No idea." Drew replied brightly. "But we're eating breakfast first anyway."

Rick laughed as Drew finally started driving out of the parking lot. The sun wasn't setting or coming up. Darn it, the process of being adults got in the way of the scenic movie ending.

* * *

It was about ten hours later. They had breakfast, Rick called his commander and made their plan official. Now they were laying in their room at the hotel, Drew with his head on Rick's chest. They had taken advantage of the walls Rick had planned.

Drew slung one arm over as well and pressed his fingers individually into the space between Rick's ribs, the muscle not yielding under the light touch.

They laid there long enough that the sun started to go down and Drew stuck his head under the sheet across them to block out the light.

Rick's fingers crawled up his spine in response but he had been awake all night and most of the day now: he was more interested in laying still now.

"The sun is annoying." He mumbled in explanation. At that, Rick deftly picked the t shirt closest to them, it could have belonged to either one of them, and chucked it at the window. It stuck there. Drew stared at it for a couple seconds, waiting for it to fall down but it didn't.

"Okay, what does it say about the blinds in this place that t shirts stick to them?"

"Don't know. I checked the reviews, no suspect shirt grabbing blinds were reported." Rick replied. They stayed in nice places, not five star resorts but nice enough to avoid bed bugs.

"I don't want to think about it." Drew said just as the t shirt fell to the ground. He rolled over so the sun wasn't in his eyes.

"I'm glad you didn't decide that this trip should involve camping." Drew commented; they did hike and camp a lot but there was something to be said for a mattress. And walls. And showers.

"Having sex in tents makes me feel like a fifteen year sneaking old."

Drew hummed. "Important part of the planning, huh?"

"I didn't want to limit my opportunities."

"I approve." He was staring at the ceiling, Rick's fingers tracing the crown of his head.

"We're getting married." Drew said.

"Yup."

"Real legal document, sign on the dotted line married." Drew expanded.

"That make you nervous?" Rick asked, the thought crossing his mind.

"No." Drew took a second to think. "Just new." Drew leaned up and kissed the underside of Rick's jaw before settling on his back again.

"I think we should file the paperwork before I leave and have the ceremony whenever works for everyone."

"Agreed." Drew nodded. "But I just got off work; no talking about paperwork."

"Can we talk about the ceremony?" Rick wondered, walking his fingers over the bumps in Drew's scalp. He leaned up against the headboard a little, looking down. He had an intimate familiarity with Drew's body, but he didn't mind retracing his steps.

Drew hummed again, relaxed and liking the feeling of Rick talking under his head.

"It's pretty hot to have it outside, but I would prefer that. I don't think the traditional church thing is going to fly here and having inside a different building seems a little pointless."

"Do we have to get married in Texas?" Drew asked. "Because I'm not that fond of the state as a whole."

"What was it that got you, the heat, the lack of rain or the heat?"

"You don't like the heat, do you?"

Rick grew up in a couple different states, but all with an average temperature cooler than Texas and much cooler than the Middle East. Sure of those places had cold days and cooler seasons but he couldn't never let his guard down because that warmth would be back.

"That's the nice thing about living by the ocean, it regulates the temperature." Rick said, recalling actual snow days from his childhood.

"I'd never been to the ocean." Drew said, closing his eyes.

"I know." Rick said. "My unit went when we were stationed in San Diego." That day had been a blast and they all had sunburns to prove it.

"And I had the flu that week and didn't go."

"Can you believe we were in basic thirteen years ago?" Rick asked, trying to account for all that time in his head. Logically he knew that he had been deployed and been in training; they're documents showing his activities but it still felt like a blink of an eye.

"Feels so much has happened, it should have been longer ago."

"If you could go back and do it again, start over being eighteen, would you?"

"Ask me questions that make me think." Drew grumbled as he sat up, leaned against the headboard. "Right off the bat, I'm tempted to say no so I don't have to take organic chemistry again." Drew thought about the place he had been in when he started in the army, remembered how angry and scared he was, how blisteringly determined he was to go to medical school because it was the only part of his plan that seemed to be working out. "No." Drew started more seriously. "I've learned a lot and met awesome people. I don't think I'd risk going back and not having those experiences. What about you?" Drew was actually pretty curious about Rick's answer to that question because he had more to gain, should he go back and chance doing his twenties again.

"I don't know." Rick said, the cost benefit analysis of the last thirty odd years running in the back of his head. "Without being blatantly cliche, I might not have gotten hurt but if I hadn't gotten hurt, we might not be out, I might not have applied for that job, I might be deployed right now and not able to be doing this." Rick lightened his voice at the end and poked Drew in the ribs, making him squirm for a couple seconds.

"If you could have your leg back, would you want it?" Drew asked, hoping that Rick didn't find the question insulting.

The what if train got him in a lot of trouble the first couple months after he lost his leg but he was in a more stable place now.

"If you had asked right after it happened, I would have said yes without thinking about it." Rick said. "Now… I don't know. Similar answer to you, I guess. Everyone worries about getting hurt and people talk about not wanting to come back from that. I think we're all afraid that we're strong enough to go to war, but we're not strong enough to recover from it." Rick paused, remembering part of his anger was not being able to move forward, being stuck with his own thoughts and having to set goals for the rest of his life, having to decide what he was working towards. "It was my worst nightmare and I survived. That's a valuable piece of information to have about yourself."

"How did it change how you think about yourself?"

Rick slid down, wrapping his arm around Drew's shoulder. He had seen this proposal involving a lot less talking but he didn't mind so much.

"Part of the reason I was upset right after it happened was that it knocked me down so hard. I perceived myself as being more resilient than that, having better control over my thoughts and emotions. I had seen enough injury and death that I thought I knew what it was like, but I didn't." Rick paused. "It made me hate the Army a little because they replaced me and kept functioning. But it also made me admire it more because they replaced me and kept functioning. All the collective costs of every war the US has fought, from where does this country find the energy to keep fighting? Part of it is impersonal, they aren't too attached to any one person. That actually ended up helping because I wasn't the only person who could do my job. It was okay if I needed a time out because the Army plans for these situations. But it also meant that I needed to get better because someone else needs a break, I can't stay down forever." Rick met Drew's eyes to see a genuine admiration looking back at him. From the outside, people didn't understand why he stuck around and waited for someone so closeted, so hurt. What they didn't realize was he was hurt too and Drew let him be hurt without being ashamed of it. They were friends before they were romantic partners, but there had always been an element of understanding there because they grew up in similar home situations and had similar family situations. They wanted to be different from their parents and having a person who understood exactly what he didn't want to be clarified the end goal.

"It's like the person in group who was less afraid of failure after they failed a couple times. They knew how to do it now and how to learn from it. I'm not unafraid of getting hurt again and I'm not challenging the universe but it's familiar ground now, less daunting."

Drew didn't answer and continued to stare at him, his eyes a little misty.

"So short answer, scientists should hurry up and design a prosthetic that isn't as hard on your skin, but no I wouldn't."

"You think you could get them on that?" Rick asked jokingly, waiting for Drew to snap out of staring at him.

"You are incredible, you know that?"

"The other key is having someone to hold the world at bay for awhile. So thanks." Rick added, meaning it. He fell apart faster than he could defend himself so Drew did without being asked. It wasn't perfect and at a time it became overbearing and he needed to re-establish his ability to protect himself but in the beginning it was crucial.

"Guess where I learned it." Drew whispered.

"Youtube?" Rick suggested after a couple seconds. Drew rolled his eyes.

"Yup, exactly, couldn't possibly be the person who spent five years in the closet with me and showed me trusting the world has benefits."

"Just a couple." Rick said, leaning in to kiss him. "Easier to find someone to house sit."

"That would be the main one, you nailed it." Drew felt Rick's jaw move under his hand as he kissed him and it was interesting to have both at the same time.

"You know the first thing I thought when I met you?" Drew asked.

"What?"

"I could listen to this guy talk all day. And dang it, he's too hot to be single."

Rick collapsed into Drew, laughing. "And you know, I wasn't single, I was dating Todd."

"Good old Todd." Drew mused.

"Right, you didn't like him." Drew and Todd had met briefly when they graduated from boot camp, Drew not knowing who he was until years later.

"I'm sure he's a perfectly nice guy." Drew said diplomatically.

"Who you didn't want within ten miles of me."

"Which I know recognize as an unhealthy jealousy."

"You know" Rick said, thinking about it. "I don't remember the first time we met."

"Jerk." Drew said, poking Rick in the ribs like he had done to him earlier.

"I don't know that we'd end up together." Rick defended, not squirming like Drew had. "I do remember you eating with us when your battle buddy left. You kept turning your fork over in your left hand and dropping it."

"I was trying to hold with it two fingers and see if I could maveneur enough that way to do stitches. I read a book about the surgeon who did the first kidney transplant and he did his surgeries with his middle finger instead of his index finger; he could do stuff no one else could but I couldn't get it." Drew explained, the palm of his hand hurting that whole week from fiddling with stuff in an attempt to increase his dexterity. In the end his stitches turned out fine.

"I also remember Sam stealing your fork and trying to stab you with it."

"And to think, he was the guy who got me into MMA."

"We should invite him." Rick said, sitting up and grabbing the notepack the hotel left on the nightstand. Even when he didn't write on them, he took them.

"He doesn't know we're together."

"We can tell him."

"Are we doing invitations?" Drew asked, sensing that the mood had switched and they were talking about formal plans now.

"I'm emailing people." Rick answered, scribbling down a list of people so he would remember to look up their email addresses.

"Good, because I have no desire to pick envelope colors."

"Decades of wedding planners are rolling over in their graves."

"I hope their new position is more comfortable." Drew said, laying down completely and hoping Rick talked for a while so he could just listen. "Anything you wish you had done before you decided to get married?"

Rick considered for a second, setting the notebook down. "Nothing big. There is stuff I wanted to do by the time I turned thirty that I never did."

"Like what?"

"I wanted to fix up the house my grandfather left me." Rick's grandfather and father owned a construction company; they left each grandkid a piece of property before they sold the company. So Rick already owned what could generously be called a shack in California.

"And I wanted to travel to see all the national parks in the US."

"That sounds cool." Drew mumbled. "We can still do that."

Rick nodded this time, that bucket list item being left over from his childhood; he wouldn't mind finishing it with Drew.

"How many are there?"

"61." Rick answered.

Drew's eyebrows ceased at the thought; it sounded like so much work. "That's a lot of driving. Good thing we have the rest of our lives."

That thought wasn't old yet, the thrill had not worn off yet and Rick grinned. Drew's phone buzzed and when it was obvious he wasn't going to move, Rick reached over and handed it to him.

"Krista says congratulations. And says we'd have cute kids" Drew reported, closing his eyes again as he set the phone down.

Rick laughed nervously, supposing he should have seen that one coming. "When do we have time to have kids?"

"Right, we're keeping the next generation safe, we don't have to raise them." Drew answered. "Do we?" he asked, now not sure of himself, tilting his head back to look at Rick.

"We don't have to." Rick answered. "But we could."

They held eye contact for a couple seconds, either one of them having a solid answer to that question.

"I never got the impression that it was completely off the table for you." Rick said, slowly, remembering what Drew had said about buying a house with a swing set.

"It's not." Drew said quickly and just as awkwardly.

For the last six years, they had been so focused on surviving they hardly had time to think about the future. Thinking about it now, Drew felt both too old and too young to have a kid, unprepared in every way to help turn a tiny infant into a functionable, successful person.

"Me either." Rick said. "We don't have to decide right now." As long as they were both open to discussing the idea, they didn't need to have plans right now. Although considering how much more work it would be for them, they had to have a plan sooner or later. Probably sooner.

There was a weighted silence, both of them processing the thought and putting it out of their minds for the moment.

"I've also never had a one night stand." Rick volunteered.

"Lucky." Drew said with a groan. "They are horrible."

Rick hummed and waited to see if Drew would continue.

"Having sex with someone you love is completely different than having sex with a stranger. And I feel all sleazy after." The ones he had had were during the time he and Rick had been broken up but also in college, when people were experimenting, except his experimenting wasn't an experiment.

Rick ran his finger along Drew's hairline, as if comforting him.

"Anyway, that's over." Drew said, deliberating moving on. "Anything else?"

Rick grinned. "I'm getting married, not thrown in prison, I can still do things."

"There's lots of stuff you can't do now." Drew commented lightly. "Testify against me in court, for example."

"Didn't see a huge need for that one anyway." Rick considered, knowing they were not just entering into a prolonged romantic relationship but a partnership that needed attention, maintenance and recognition. He couldn't imagine how it would be different than dating but it would be.

Finally, Drew quit talking; Rick had been wondering when that would happen considering he had been awake for twenty-four hours. It felt as if he had undertaken a huge project without knowing exactly how it would turn out, but he knew that he wanted to figure out it with Drew.

* * *

The past week after they returned from Santa Fe had zipped by. Rick packed, Drew wrote applications and they apartment hunted. Rick's flight out was before they knew whether Drew had been accepted into the program on the base and Rick couldn't decide whether that was stupid or optistimic. Drew, TC and Topher assured him that Drew would be accepted but if he wasn't they had just imposed another year long separation on themselves. Rick kept the worry at bay by staying busy. He hadn't worked in a year, since his injury, and he never had an instructor job. He filled his time studying the materials his commander had sent him. After he made it through those four pages, he found out everything he could about the program and his future coworkers. It only took one reminder of what Drew looked like before his medical boards to get him to pipe down and offer helpful suggestions. The rest of the time, they made more weddings plans which they admitted without embarrassment was both more fun and more nerve wrecking.

And today was the day to finally, and suddenly, implement those plans.

Drew had just opened his eyes when Rick kissed the back of his neck and threw an arm over him. He resisted the urge to lean back into the kiss so he didn't whack Rick in the face.

"Hello" Drew mumbled, content to be awake but just lay there for a while.

Rick's finger poking him in the stomach prompted him to roll flat on his back so they could look at each other.

After Rick kissed him good morning, he set his elbow back on the pillow and studied Drew's face. "Final decision. Are either of us changing our name?"

Drew made a face. "I don't think you should take Alister. When my parents find out, they'll flip out and I don't want you dealing with that."

"Drew, your last name also belongs to you. You have achievements that are unrelated to your parents. I wouldn't be taking their name; I'd be taking your name." Rick pointed out. He knew it was hard to have a family that disapproved so heavily and yet still be identified as one of them.

Drew shook his head, still uncomfortable with the idea of Rick having his last name. Rick was his family but Drew wanted to keep his chosen family separate from his biological family.

They had already had this conversation twice, the first time on the ride back from Santa Fe, with Rick jokingly trying out all the possible combinations of their names.

"Can I make Lincoln my middle name?" Drew asked. His current middle name matched his dad's middle name as did the rest of his full name, Andrew Carter Alister.

Rick nodded and Drew was glad he wasn't insulted by his indecision about this topic.

"It's just hard because my name is the same as my dad's and he makes me feel like an idiot teenager." Drew explained, watching Rick's face form sympathetic expressions and listen intently. "I just don't want you and him being tied together like that."

"Yea, I get it." Rick said, glad Drew finally just told him the reason; Rick usually wanted more to know more about Drew than Drew volunteered. He didn't pry when he sensed Drew really needed him to back off, but he stayed closed and encouraged Drew to talk to him. It had an added bonus because after Drew realized how nice it was to have someone like in his life, he asked more about Rick's thoughts too.

Drew watched Rick's face for another moment trying to figure out if Rick was disappointed. He decided he wasn't and shoved his head into his chest. Being quiet for a moment, Rick wanted to lighten the mood. Drew did before he could though.

"But today is a good day because I get to marry you and eat a bunch of pizza so really what more could a person want in life?" Drew asked, grinning up at Rick.

Rick grinned back and traced his finger from Drew's lips back to his collar before he leaned in to kiss him. Funny, being engaged made both of them seem more attractive to the other.

"We never decided what we were doing this morning." Rick said, referencing the free morning before their appointment at four at the courthouse. They were getting married in Texas after all but they were a ceremony at the courthouse and having their friends over for dinner afterwards.

Drew groaned, in good humor, wondering why Rick was such a morning person. And a night owl. Then again, he was an ER doctor which meant he wasn't a morning person or a night owl, he was a person who didn't sleep.

All the plans for the party were done, finished yesterday so they could relax today. Rick had done most of the work securing a marriage license for them and the appointment at the courthouse meant they only needed to plan for one venue, not two.

"We could continue doing this." Drew suggested, reaching over Rick to pull his hand into the air. His fiance caught on and held his arm up, both of them admiring the rings on their left hands. Rick's band had a dark strip of silver in the center, with the edges being a slightly lighter silver. It was flat and simple but it served its function. Rhombuses covered Drew's band. Drew called it geometric. Rick called it bumpy. Drew fretted briefly over the fact that they didn't match, his being black, Rick's being silver, but they decided it was more important to have rings they each liked.

"It might be a good idea to leave the house." They had been doing a lot of this and both of them were starting to miss the sun.

Drew tilted his head in consideration, letting his hand drop. "Want to hike generation loop?"

Rick smiled. "The day I graduated high school I finished my last final and went to work out. The woman at the front desk asked me why I was early. I was slightly disturbed I had become that predictable." Rick admitted, remembering. Working out, for him, both filled the time and let him immense himself in another activity so he didn't overthink whatever he was worried about.

"I'll take that as a yes." Drew said, sitting up.

Sitting up as well, Rick grabbed the spiral notebook he had been using for all the plans this week. The dates he ended up transferring to his phone but handwriting made more sense when he made phone calls and organized his thoughts.

"Our appointment is at four, we need to be there at three forty five, takes twenty minutes to get there. We should leave at three fifteen so be back here at…." Rick trailed off, waiting for Drew to answer. Either one of them had ever been to a gay wedding, and either of them had ever planned any type of marriage. That resulted in a lot of google searches and looking at each other, trying to figure out a reasonable ceremony that they would both enjoy. "Is forty five minutes enough time to shower and get out of here?"

"Depends." Drew said, standing up and starting to pull clothes out of his dresser. "Am I showering by myself?"

Of course Drew had picked that moment to change into a hiking shirt and Rick caught a sliver of skin while he tried to find something soft to throw at Drew. He pencilled in an hour for shower time.

* * *

"You look like a lizard." Drew accused Rick, who was lying on his back on a rock under a tree on the top of a mountain. Miraculously it wasn't overly hot and they had a breeze.

"You sound like you're jealous." Rick countered, his eyes closed.

"I have all the food, so you're welcome to keep the rock" Drew said. They were eating homemade pizza for lunch, the ones that were not pretty enough to be served at the party. After he figured out how much Drew liked it, Rick made a bunch for him before each deployment and stuck it in the freezer.

"If everyone in the world could have one of my personality traits, which one would be it?" Rick asked a couple moments later, after the air had settled into a comfortable silence.

Drew smiled; Rick had been doing that a lot over the last week, asking him questions that read like a checklist of things to know about your partner before marriage. Drew started asking his own and they led to surprisingly deep and interesting conversations.

"I have to warn you" Drew started, coming over to sit on the rock next to Rick, who took the piece of pizza he offered him. "This is only a couple steps down the road from an army of your clones marching around."

Rick bit the pizza and smiled around it.

"You're a really good listener." Drew started. "It took me a while to notice, but whenever I mentioned something you would ask me a question about what I just said, before you started talking about yourself." It made been especially nice in boot camp when he felt like no one was ever trying to understand him and his anger. It also helped that Rick could see the bravado and ask questions about things below the surface.

"And how do you plan on programming that into the army of clones?" Rick asked, his expression light and happy.

"Hoards of computer programmers. Replicating you would take all the brilliant minds on the planet." Drew stole Rick's pizza at this point to make sure he didn't seem too sappy.

"Which of my mine traits would you burden the general public with?" Drew asked after the wrestling match over the pizza ended.

Rick knocked his elbow into Drew's side, for emphasis, before he answered. "You are incredibly loyal. And you always finish what you start." Rick complimented him, having grown a greater appreciation for those traits as their relationship unfolded. Drew might have been distance at some points and scared but he never left. They worked it out. "I would love it if more people had your drive to learn more and be better at their job."

"That's not a personality trait; that's a gut reaction to massive insecurity." Drew said.

Rick pulled Drew closer to him and put his arm around him.

"I remember in medical school you coming over into an outrage and telling me about the people in your practical labs classes. You kept saying there was never a 'close enough' when you are saving people's lives." Rick listened to many rants on the topic. Once in a while, he would start feeding Drew as a way to get him to stop talking and take care of himself.

"This from the man who made his entire unit run obstacle courses again because the teamwork fell apart."

Rick pointed at Drew. "That is self preservation. The more conflict a unit has, the more casualties they have. It's scientifically proven." That's why Rick didn't tell his unit about being gay while they were deployed.

"And that is one of the many reasons they picked you to mold the young minds of the future Army Rangers." Drew said, packing up their stuff; it was time to start heading down.

"Also the inspiration speeches they are going to make about the return from tragic story." Rick said, a little irritated that was now part of his appeal to employers.

"You read a book about the first soldier with an amputation to go back to combat." Drew reminded him. "People like success stories."

"I understand that." Rick said, wanting to be a person in other people's eyes, not just a good story. "Although the first time someone says, if he can do it with one leg, you can do it, I am not going to be happy with them."

Drew considered Rick for a second. "You might have to get used to that one. The more you protest the story, the more people will tell it."

Rick nodded, not necessarily unhappy looking but also not ecstatic.

"Give them something else to focus on." Drew suggested. "Or start telling them off in Arabic."

That got Rick to smile. "So I'll stay fluent then."

"Exactly."

* * *

The first people they met at the courthouse were Rick's parents. They were dressed up and waiting when Rick and Drew walked in about thirty minutes before their appointment. They decided not to wear their military uniforms after Topher recommended against it. The military gets every part of your life, don't give them your wedding were his exact words. Rick's sisters arrived within a couple minutes of them checking in. Cara and Allie were Rick's people of honor while Krista and Kenny were Drew's people of honor. It had been challenging to talk all four of them out of bachelor's parties.

"Did Justin bring a tree?" Drew asked, interrupting the conversation Rick was having with his sisters.

Right on cue, Justin and Adam both brought their dollies to a stop and presented Rick and Drew with small trees resembling redwoods.

"We know you guys weren't flower people and this one…" Adam explained, gesturing at Rick. "is always complaining about how he misses the redwoods, so we got you a mini redwood." Adam grinned. "And then it felt wrong to leave Drew out so we got him one too."

"Umm…." Rick started. "You realize I move every two years. Where am I supposed to plant a tree?"

"Drew is driving to South Dakota, right?"

They both nodded.

"They are not really redwoods; they're brushes bred to look like redwoods so if you trim them, they stay small enough to keep in the pot and you can just stick them in the truck when you leave."

Rick and Drew looked at each other and shrugged. "Your presentation needs work" Rick critiqued. "But thank you. I like them."

By this time, most of their other guests had arrived and everyone was congrating them and examining the trees. They kept it small, as not everyone knew they were together and they were getting married for themselves, not to put on a show for a bunch of relatives who they only saw once every five years. All Drew's friends from the night shift came, along with several members of his gym and a couple people from his unit. Rick had a few people from rehab, about five people from his unit and his parents and sisters.

The last twenty minutes before their appointment rushed by, Drew and Rick distracted by people talking to them. At two minutes to four, Rick noticed a woman in judge's robes hovering about the edge of their group and a wave of adrenaline rushed over him. He grabbed Drew's hand to get his attention and watched the judge notice; her face faltered for a second and dread bit into both of them, hoping that she wouldn't make a scene. She recovered when she saw them watching her and grinned.

"I'm going to guess you two are my happy couple." she said pleasantly and as far as Rick and Drew could tell, she wasn't overcompensating or covering. She genuinely looked happy for them. They both let out a breath of relief and nodded. Rick felt nervous, in the same way he had when he had given Drew his power of attorney, not because he felt he had made the wrong choice, simply because it was a significant change.

"I'm Judge Sanders. Nice to meet you." She stuck out her hand and they both shook it. "If you'll all follow me."

"I'm sorry." She said next. "Tell me your name again."

"Drew Alister" Drew said. "And this is Rick Lincoln."

"Drew Alister, Rick Lincoln" she repeated, clearly making an effort to remember that. "Worse thing to have to ask again during the ceremony." She said, keeping the mood upbeat.

"You brought the outside inside, did you?" She asked of Justin and Adam.

"These two wanted to get married outside but it is hard to find venues when you only give yourself a week to plan." Adam answered.

She laughed, a light sound of sympathy, not teasing. She took a step to the side so she was even with Drew and Rick. "How long have you two been together?"

"Five and a half years." Drew said, not counting the couple months they had been broken up.

"Wonderful." She stopped at a door. "If you two want to go outside, we can. There's a pretty courtyard and I can sign papers anywhere." She offered.

As soon as she said that, Rick wanted to agree and glanced at Drew, who grinned and nodded. She slipped into the room to grab a set of papers.

As they entered the courtyard Rick's mom, Fiona, came in between them and took both of their hands. "Something my mom told me when she walked me down the aisle: communicate. You're marrying the love of your life, not a mind reader. You have no idea if that person wants chicken or turkey for dinner unless you ask." They both laughed as she squeezed their hands and shook them a little. "Something I wish she had told me. You two already know each other. After your father and I were married, we skirted around each other, unsure how to act. You already know each other, you've promised to respect and love each other but you're still the same people so relax a little." She smiled at both of them, waiting for them to nod. They did and she dropped Drew's hand to pull Rick toward her. People were mingling around a bit in the background, pulling things out of the way so they could have a clear area from which to watch the ceremony. If Drew didn't know better, he would say they were occupying their hands so they wouldn't be intruding.

"I'm proud of you." Fiona smiled, her eyes shiny with tears and joy for them. "The both of you are incredibly brave and I couldn't tell you how proud I am of you."

"Mom" Rick whispered, hugging her, glad he had told her and she accepted him. Sometimes he felt guilty for having understanding parents while Drew's didn't but right now he just enjoyed the moment. He felt his dad's hand clap him on the shoulder, showing his support as well.

"And Drew honey." Fiona turned to him. "I like you." She said simply, making Drew's body relax into laughter. "I'm honored Rick decided to share you with us. I know you two are good together." She brushed her hands over the shoulders of his jacket, unsure whether he would welcome a hug. So he hugged her, trying hard not to cry, not knowing until this moment that a part of him had been craving parental support and approval of their choice.

"Me too." Rick's dad said, making Drew look at him, a little nervous under the gaze. He nodded with a grin on his face and Rick took his hand again.

"A man of few words." Rick leaned in to whisper.

"I don't know. I liked those ones." Drew said back.

"Ready?" Judge Sanders asked, joining the crowd of people smiling at them.

"It is my understanding that we are keeping this short and civil." The judge started, meaning non religious. The sun fell through the trees as the judge spoke a few sentences around marriage followed by a sentence or two of legal stuff. Both of them choose not to say vows in front of everyone, feeling that the conversations they had this week had told them how they feel about each other. Since they both already had rings and had slipped them on each other's fingers in the hotel after they brought them, they didn't exchange rings at the ceremony either.

"Alright" Judge Sanders, said after their I dos had faded away. "The two of you have to sign up here.

Drew broke eye contact first to take the pen she offered. When he glanced down at the form, he noticed there was a line for male applicant and female applicant. After a second of hesitation, he scribbled out the 'fe' in female, initialled it and went to write his name on the line.

"Um… if I'm changing my name, I write the new one?" Drew asked.

Judge Sanders nodded, so he did, grinning when Rick leaned into and he was sure of his choice now, always wanting it to be obvious to whoever got their hands on his forms that they were together.

Rick took the pen and put his name on the next line.

Judge Sanders took the pen back, signed it, had Kenny and Allie sign as witnesses and stacked the papers neatly.

"By the power invested in my by the state of Texas, I pronounce you married. You may kiss."

A cheer rose up behind them but Drew focused on Rick, who focused on him. "We did it." He whispered in victory, meaning that they had overcome an incredible number of barriers to reach this moment: legal, logistical, emotional.

"We did it." Rick repeated, just as amazed and grateful.

Rick touched the side Drew's face, pulled him towards and kissed him. Drew's hand ventured up to hold the back of Rick's collar. Rick moved his arm up to hold Drew close to him when they broke apart. "I love you."

"I love you too." Drew murmured back, making sure it was loud for Rick to hear it clearly.

Rick pecked Drew on the lips quickly, starting to feel the eyes of twenty people on them, so he put his arm over Drew's shoulders and turned them to face their audience.


	2. Chapter 2

The initialized words are lyrics from Better Together by John Jackson.

* * *

"Wait." Rick said with urgency, stopping Drew at the door after Topher unlocked it.

"Who's doing the carry the other one over the threshold thing?" Rick asked.

Drew couldn't resist the urge to roll his eyes. "This isn't even our house. And it's not like we followed any of the other traditions."

"In spirit. In honor of the fact that house hunting helped us get to this moment." Rick explained grandly, gesturing away from his body with one hand.

Topher shrugged when Drew looked at him with an exasperated expression. "Don't look to me to manage your marriage, brother."

"It loosened the ketchup bottle." Rick defended, people piling up behind him.

That distracted Drew, effectively drawing him into the debate. "It is roughly the equivalent of bumping the ketchup bottle when you set the mustard next to it."

Rick wasn't listening anymore and instead was trying to decide if he could grab Drew under the knees without injuring his back. After a moment of consideration, he decided he couldn't and wrapped his arms around Drew's waist, Drew's back to his chest.

"Put your feet on the other side." Drew's arms dropped heavily against his, but Rick felt the arch of Drew's back change so he assumed Drew had moved his legs. Then Rick attempted to toss Drew over the threshold, succeeding in throwing him about six inches.

Drew was shaking his head at him, trying not to smile. "Are you pleased with yourself?"

"Yes." Rick said proudly, finally moving to let everyone else in. They flooded past the two of them as Rick once again grabbed Drew under the ribs, this time Drew holding his hand so Rick's arm was tight around him.

Taking advantage of the perceived privacy, Drew spun and kissed his husband, smiling slightly when Rick pulled Drew forward by his hips and kissed him back with an intensity that they hadn't let themselves engage in front of everyone. Drew hooked his ankle around Rick's until they were pressed up against each other.

"Hello. Husband." Rick murmured, peppering Drew's jaw with kisses up to his ear.

"I think that is my new favorite word." Drew answered.

"Mine too" Rick said softly.

Drew around his arms around Rick's shoulders, resting his elbows near the base of Rick's neck and letting his hands hands brush the top of Rick's head.

"We need to find more reasons for you to wear suits." Rick commented, smoothing the back of Drew's jacket against his neck.

"You've seen me in dress blues." Drew commented.

"Yea, maybe it's not the clothes."

"If we have sex in Topher's house, he will kill me." Drew whispered, despite the fact that he was pulling Rick toward him as he spoke. "Or possibly leave me alive and harass me about it for the rest of my life."

"You know, I don't always compliment your clothes with the objective of getting you out of them." Rick explained matter a factly.

"So why do you compliment my clothes?" Drew asked, Rick's arm resting on his lower back.

"I am being genuine." Rick drew out his explantation. "And my very straight father raised me to have an appreciation for a good suit."

Drew laughed, slipping his arms off Rick's shoulders. There was a room full of people waiting for them, to help celebrate them. "Your dad said he get his notary to help me with all the legal paperwork when I change my name."

"Yea, I was going to ask." Rick said, Drew having surprised with the hyphenated name during the ceremony. "Why the upgrade to last name status?"

Drew shrugged, trying to be casual, but Rick could see something more emotional in his face.

"I miss my dad." Drew said simply, not looking Rick in the eyes but gently folding their fingers together. Rick let his fingers stay flexible in Drew's. They had talked about this before, briefly, but he was continuously grateful his dad was here; it made sense Drew was continuously reminded his wasn't.

"Or I miss what could have happened." Drew smiled quickly in reflex to keep his composition. "That you two could have been friends. And I'm disappointed that he chose to exclude you."

"It is liberating to stop taking the blame for other people's behavior." Rick said softly, knowing that this had been weighing on Drew. Rick wasn't privy to the exact wording but Drew's family had declined the invitation. It had taken a lot of courage for Drew to extend it and instead of meeting that courage with respect, Drew's family had picked to remain resentful. Some part of him wanted Drew to give up and let them go, release himself from this cycle of hurt, anger and rebuilding. Some part of Rick couldn't imagine Drew's strength in trying and trying again to teach and be vulnerable. And some part of Rick wondered about these people who he knew in so much detail, but purely abstractly. Rick knew there used to be a lot of love there because Drew actively mourned it when he lost it.

"I am not taking the blame for his behavior." Drew said. "But you're my family. You have been for a long time but it's official and I need people to know that."

"I'll try and be worthy of the honor." Drew didn't attach that word to people lightly. They had both attached it to men and women they had served but those were not bonds formed lightly either.

"You are."

Rick smiled softly.

"First for forgiving my melodramatics and second for helping me when I ask you to come up with some reasonable response to whatever stupid comment TC makes after we walk into the room ten minutes after everyone else."

Rick took Drew's hand and guided him towards the kitchen. "You are going to have to work much harder to be melodramatic and no that is not a challenge and second Jordan promised that she would keep him under control."

Drew had a view of the kitchen where their friends were gathered through the open doorway. "On a separate note, you and I might have other issues. It appears Krista is now friends with your sisters."

Before Rick could reply, the two of them broke apart to walk into the room where the three women were standing. "Everyone else is outside." Cara explained, upon seeing them. "I got them started cooking things after TC started wondering why they hold the reception right after the ceremony when in his words, surely the couple has less formal things on their mind." Cara raised her eyebrows at the uncomfortable expression on both of their faces.

"Yea, Topher, who was standing there holding his eight month old, had about a similar level of comfort with it." Cara said, still moving dishes around the kitchen. The vegetables and all the traditional wedding foods were going to be heated up inside but the pizzas were heated up on a barbeque; it was informal for a wedding, but it was also Lincoln family tradition for big celebrations, that the family members make the pizzas together and cook them. Rick, his dad and Cara all had more fun working with their hands instead of sitting across from each other at a formal dinner table, so their mom came up with family pizza nights to include both the people who couldn't sit still and reassure herself that her children could feed themselves once they moved out.

"So I hear we got a new Lincoln." Allie said with a sincere smile. She was quieter than Cara, more reflective and less talkative, like Rick was and thoughtful.

"Lincoln-Alister." Drew confirmed, letting Rick pull him to his side and thread his fingers through his belt loop.

Cara paused in setting things out the counter. "You remember, Rick, when you were sixteen and we took you to see that movie?"

"Yes." Rick said, with a hint of meaning in his voice.

"Lincoln-Alister. Much cleaner than Lincoln-Macht." Cara commented.

Krista made a face. "Gabriel Macht" Rick explained. "My first celebrity crush." Krista grinned. "And it is apparently from my reaction to this movie they both figured out I was gay." Rick finished, nodding to both his sisters.

"We were nice enough to inform him of this fact later on." Cara smirked.

"I knew I felt different, I just didn't know the word for it." Rick protested lightly. "And it was a good movie."

"About what?" Drew asked, not remembering that actor, but curious.

"I don't remember the title, but Macht was a Marine who led a covert rescue mission behind enemy lines in Vietnam." Rick said. Rick never watched movies with that actor in any other role because it felt inauthentic.

"Geez, sound like anyone we know?" Krista said sarcasmly.

"Was he cute?" Drew teased, enjoying himself.

"Yea, he was." Rick said, drawing Drew's head close to him. "You got him beat though." Rick's arm was strong over his shoulder and Drew always felt safe tucked into Rick's side like that. He ducked his head and popped up a second later to see all three women in the room making lovey dovey faces at them. It occurred to them that most of their friends had not seen them being very physically affection and Drew figured they would get a pass for today.

Cara, the oldest, picked the conversation, dragging Krista and Allie along, not that she got a lot of resistance. "Who was your's Drew?"

"Celebrity crush?" Drew asked, refocusing after being distracted by Rick.

Krista was smiling at him, but in an honest way that gave him the sense this conversation wouldn't be the subject of teasing later.

"I liked Patrick Swayze which was good because he was in a bunch of movies in the 1990s." Drew said quickly.

"And there were a ton of shirtless scenes in Dirty Dancing." Cara dared to suggest, which was met with the immediate groans from the other people in the room. Cara glared at them at second, before relenting and holding her hands up.

"Anyway" Rick started quickly, mostly to avoid being a part of a conversation with his husband and his sisters about the various hotness of actors in the 90s. "Is there anything we should be doing?"

"No." Janet answered walking into the room. "There are just the right number of cooks in your outdoor kitchen; don't disrupt the balance." She walked over to the fridge, poured herself a glass of wine and put one in Drew's and Rick's hands before they asked.

"Rick, in all the time you spend cleaning my house before this, you never told me how you proposed." Janet said, hinting. Rick had felt guilty that Janet was cleaning a house to have a bunch of his guests so he came over to help.

Rick rolled his eyes and took a step back; Drew swayed with him and didn't let go of him.

"Just remember I married you for you, not the ring." Drew whispered, feeling Rick smile and relax.

"It's not exactly a long story." Ricks started. "I got a job offer in South Dakota and…." Rick shifted his hips, leaning into Drew a little. "I had half decided not to go but Drew talked me into it and said yes at the same time…" Rick took a deep breath; they had promised they wouldn't talk about this until tomorrow. "Except because I had only thought up this plan the night before, I forgot to buy a ring" Rick finished slowly.

To be nice, all the women in the room tried not to laugh at him.

"Rick" Janet started, grinning.

"I know. I know." Rick interrupted her. "I am supposed to have one of his friends steal one of his rings, which to be fair, I'm not sure he owned one until and check the size and do all these things I don't know how to do." Everyone was laughing and Drew's hand was still tight on his hip and he was really glad they didn't have to wait ten years for this to become a funny story. "Now that I think of it, I own Krista an apology." His voice dropped and her face ceased briefly before he continued. "I'm sorry my proposal didn't require you committing grand larceny. That's clearly a massive flaw in the plan." She burst out laughing again and the rest of the room followed. Even Allie laughed without restraint so his facial expression must have matched the punchline pretty well.

"Is that how you ended up with mismatched rings?" Janet asked.

Both Rick and Drew looked down at their hands. "No." Drew started, surprising Rick a little with how open he was being. "There's a national park in Maryland, where we went on our first date." Drew glanced up at the room, before returning his gaze to his hand. "We used to travel a lot, but the name of this place was Silver Rock." Drew pulled Rick's hand up so they could all see it and held his next to it. "So silver…" he gestured to Rick "... rock" he thumbed his own ring.

Krista grinned at him and cupped her chin in her hand, happy for them. All of them let that sit in silence without talk cheapening the moment.

Rick dropped his hand and put it back around Drew. "So, in the end, it was okay that I forgot, because I wouldn't have come up with that." He admitted, his voice light, but still low. "That was all you." Rick nudged Drew, who again moved in coordination so they stayed close together.

"You turned me into such a sentimental person." Drew said with a slight laugh.

"What, by existing?"

_No, by being a good enough person that I could trust you._ Drew thought, as finally the other people in the room couldn't stand it anymore and started cooing again.

Rick could tell that Drew was a still a little emotional from all their friends being so kind to them, to talking about getting together and remembering what happened a couple months after their first date. They had been long distance for a lot of years so they said goodbye many times. A couple months after that date, Rick had been deployed and he made it back a week before Drew graduated from medical school. The day Drew graduated he told Rick he loved him for the first time. For a moment, Rick thought it was out of relief and excitement but over the course of the next couple months, Drew kept saying it and Rick was all too happy to say it back.

* * *

They all listened to first Janet, then Cara and finally Allie talk about the proposals they had accepted and as not to feel too left out, Krista told the story of moving in with one of her boyfriends in college. Eventually, the pizzas outside started burning and the Lincoln siblings were called away to manage the grill before their dinner went up in smoke.

Rick and Drew sat together in the middle of one of the tables and listened to Justin and Adam explain, in great detail, how they found a not a redwood, redwood tree. Adam had also recently retired from the Army when his girlfriend got pregnant again and they decided to get married. Justin was a proclaimed lone wolf, something both Rick and Drew would have bet money in their early twenties, that they would have been forced into. Because they were too many people for one table, but not really enough people for two tables, everyone else dragged up a chair and they all ate together. Lynn told the story of Drew bringing burgers to her house while Rick and Drew were broken up, but she highlighted the funny moments and teased Drew for forgetting the vanilla shakes when he agreed to grab her one. He promised to pay up before he left.

Luckily it was August in Texas, so even though they left the photos until 7pm, there was still good lighting. Lynn helped facilitate the process by introducing everyone to her new kitten while they waited to rotate through all the various group photos, keeping people from wandering off in distraction.

The very last photo was one of Rick and Drew in almost the same position as the one that had been leaked to the press after Drew's fifteen minutes of fame. That photo had soured a bit in both of their minds because it was released without their permission and garnered so much attention before they were ready for it. This one, however, was all on their terms, surrounded by people they trusted. That was the one that earned a spot on many future mantles.

* * *

"My face hurts." Rick murmured to Drew as they finally sat down again after taking what felt like a thousand photos.

"Yea, mine too." Drew agreed.

"I'm glad Allie remembered though. That would have been disappointing in a couple years, not to have any photos." Rick complimented his sister.

"Agreed." Drew said. Rick kissed the side of his face, not romantically but as a way to feel close to his husband and show happiness. Rick could tell that Drew had hit just the right level of intoxicated that he wasn't self conscious anymore, but he was still well spoken and put together. Rick himself had made sure to switch between water and alcohol; this was the last night he wanted to accidentally drink too much and wake up with fuzzy memories of the night.

After a moment of silence and most of their guests settling back into their seats with more pizza or fresh drinks to continue their dinner conversations, Drew rubbed his head on Rick's shoulder and half hugged him.

"I think someone must be corralling my friends and your unit into taking it easy on us." Drew commented, noticing that they hadn't gotten a single sideways glance or or on the nose teasing remark from any of the alpha male, take no prisoners types they had invited. Other than TC who did it a dramatic, humorous way that dared people to outdo him.

Rick shook his head. "I think they are being genuine. In between our many photo shoot moments, Justin thanked me for inviting him, like he understood the seriousness of what we were doing and that we wanted to include him in it."

Rick paused as a thought came to him. "This a give and take situation." He started slowly. "They're our friends, but sometimes even with them we have a shell."

Drew thought about it; having his feelings respected was a new experience for him, one he still failed to navigate perfectly, most of the time unconsciously undersharing in reflex. It took a bit more energy to be vulnerable but each time it was meet positively, with happiness or understanding, it made him more likely to risk it the next time. This group of people had taught him more about trust than he had realized.

"They understand that we are sharing something important with them and they acknowledge that by not making fun of us." Drew tested out, seeing if his thinking was the same as Rick's.

Rick made a low noise of agreement, absentmindedly brushing his thumb against the back of Drew's head.

Before they had a chance to continue their conversation, music started playing, which both Rick and Drew recognized.

Drew groaned good naturedly. "The masses are bored."

Rick grinned. "Are we having a first dance?"

Drew tipped his head back onto Rick's shoulder, stalling for a moment. "That sounds like something you would enjoy."

"Yea" Rick answered lightly, somehow being more attractive for his honesty. "But we don't have to."

"No, we can" Drew answered. "But I am not dancing to Taylor Swift." He raised his voice so Cara could hear him.

"This is Ellie Golding." She shot back.

"Whatever" Drew answered, he and Rick standing up. "Pick something else."

"Better Together by Jack Johnson?" Rick suggested, as they walked towards the speaker where Rick's sisters were standing. The delivery made Drew think Rick had already thought about this.

"I like that song." Drew offered. They listened to it on the radio for the first time together and without a lot of conversation, Rick looked it up and it became part of the background music when one of them was feeling romantic or semimetal.

Allie was holding Cara's phone, after having stolen it to make sure the song Rick and Drew wanted actually played, waiting for a confirmation from Rick.

"I have a copy of that." She offered. Drew nodded.

There wasn't much of an introduction to that song, so they were still walking when the first lines started playing.

"You lead, you're a better dancer than me." Drew requested a little nervously. Rick grabbed his hand and swung him around, even though it didn't fit the song, but it made Drew smile and when his hands landed on Rick's hips, the gesture felt more natural.

_Like why are we here? And where do we go? And how come it's so hard? It's not always easy and Sometimes life can be deceiving_

It wasn't so much dancing as it was swaying and Drew couldn't imagine it was that interesting to watch but he couldn't hear anyone giving them grief and Rick made a calm, happy expression on his face that made it worth it, even if Drew wasn't really sure what to do with his feet.

_With only two Just me and you Not so many things we got to do Or places we got to be We'll sit beneath the mango tree now_

"In case you were wondering, our eventual property is having an apple tree not a mango tree." Rick whispered, when the song started to stretch out. It seemed much shorter when it wasn't the only thing to do.

Drew smiled appreciatively. "Got something against mango trees?"

"No" Rick said. "Something for apple trees."

Drew glanced down, thinking for a second, before meeting Rick's eyes. "Thanks for asking me to marry you."

Rick grinned, a little surprised.

"Is it stupid to say that I didn't think about it, but as soon as you said, it made all the sense in the world?" Drew asked, leaning into Rick.

Rick shrugged. "You wanted to buy a house with me. I knew how you felt, even if you didn't."

Drew tuned out the music, stuck up in being grateful.

"I really don't know what I did to deserve you."

"Really Drew?" Rick asked. "You tell me this now, after the whole ceremony. You're right; your timing is terrible. Pro tip, next time give a guy a little more warning." Rick held up his fingers about an inch apart but realized Drew couldn't see his hands so he just poked him in the back of the head.

"No next time. You're it." Rick could hear the slow notes wrapping and in truth Drew's timing was spot on because the last line of the song was playing when Drew kissed him again.

_We're better together_

* * *

They had cake, cutting the first piece together but not feeding it to each other. As soon as their first dance song ended, Cara took over, playing more beat up songs. Most of the guests danced until Janet and Topher left to put the twins to bed, so they turned off the music. Their guests were doing a good job entertaining themselves, but Rick and Drew still made the rounds to talk to everyone and thank them for coming.

It started to get dark and the backyard was lit by the lights from Topher's back porch. After pieces of cakes had been distributed, everyone looked at them. Janet and Topher were back now, so Rick stood up.

"Okay" Rick started, leaving his glass on the table for the moment. "There are kids sleeping, don't wake them up." He warned and the parents in the audience grinned. "We wanted to thank Topher and Janet for inviting us to have the reception here. As Justin mentioned that was a pretty serious oversight and they've been awesome." Rick paused; he had thought about this earlier, but that was before he had spent several hours with everyone and enjoyed their company.

"Believe it or not, I actually wrote this down" Rick joked when it was silent for a couple seconds. "I just wanted to thank everyone for coming. I know I appreciate it." People smiled. "To be honest, sometimes I wasn't sure this would ever happen and I bring that up only to say that I appreciate everyone's part in helping us get here. And because it's our life, it's not always the easiest thing on the planet, but I have to say I'm thrilled at how today has gone so far." That got him a laugh, some of the audience raising their glasses. "So thank you everyone for your support; it has not gone unnoticed."

There was another round of toasting and Drew stood up next to him. "I am going to echo some of Rick said but I really appreciate all of you coming, especially when we didn't give you a lot of travel time." He glanced at his new sisters in laws, who were smiling in the teary way people do at weddings. "I…" Drew too found himself deviating from what he had prepared earlier. "Like Rick said, not the easiest year and there were a couple reasons for that. Those of you who know me, I'm not telling you anything new, but I am not great at trusting people. Having said that, I couldn't imagine not having all of you here, so thank you again for everything."

"People, I present to you Doctor and Captain Lincoln-Alister." Cara said a little sarcasmly, but mostly proud. "You have picked quite a title for yourselves."

Everyone stood up and clapped at that, laughs bouncing quietly around the group. Some people took that as a cue to leave.

"For everyone leaving now, that concludes our formal activities. Remember that all the best trauma surgeons in the city are here, not in the hospital to save your life, so there are a couple of you should not be driving." Rick said in his dry sense of humor, eyeing Justin to make his point. His comment caused TC to pull a proud face and turn to Jordan who already had her hand up with a finger pointed at him to argue.

After that, the group thinned out, leaving Rick and Drew with their close family and friends, the group of them sitting around, talking quietly trying not to get too many mosquito bites. It was a little bittersweet because no one wanted the night to end. But eventually it did and they all disembarked without a lot of fanfare. It wasn't loud and it wasn't grand, but it was them and their family respected that. Now they just had to figure out the rest of their lives.


End file.
